Wow, how did I let so much time slip by?  And here it is, the end of the world tomorrow.  Not too sure how much I believe in anybody knowing when the end will come, but what I do believe is that I should live my life as if today is my last no matter what. 

I have been consciously trying to think happy thoughts, replacing the angry or hurtful ones that creep in all too easily and letting the people I care about most know how much they mean to me. 

Busy, busy, busy trying to pull my quilt show committee together.  Almost there, one key player fell into place today.  Only two more to go and I should be set. 

I'm going to try to document much of the quilt show planning and preparation.  We have a lot of great ideas that seem like they will actually come to fruition.  Apparently, from what a few members have told me, I have stirred up a bit of much needed enthusiasm in our 2012 quilt show.  Every time I hear this or when I speak to someone who seems revved up, it just spurs me on to get even more excited. 

Joining the Desert Quilters of Nevada Quilt Guild has literally changed my life.  I've never met a nicer, kinder group of people anywhere.  I'm going to work my hardest to make them proud of our quilt show.

So even if it is the end of the world, at least I can go knowing that someone other than my daughter and husband actually care about me.  Seriously, life-changing stuff has been happening here.

I Made It Through March....Well, Kind Of.

March is a tough month for me.  That's my excuse for not blogging this entire month.  Even though I had a lot to write about...quilt show beginning, middle and end, committing to being chairperson of the 2012 quilt show (I'll eventually have plenty to write about with that bit of news), etc.  But, overall, March is a tough month.  My dad was born and died in March.  My sweet mother-in-law died last March and over the past month my husband has become almost completely debilitated from a knee and shoulder injury.  You'd think that would be enough, right?  Well no...

Now for yet another inauspicious memory to add to March:  My oldest girlfriend told me that she has stage 4 kidney cancer. 

This all sounds so superstitious, as if a certain time of the year draws to it the crummiest stuff that can happen.  I'm not superstitious about anything, so I suppose I should just let this feeling of dread go. 

Hopefully next year I will be so engrossed in running the quilt show that March will just breeze by.

See?  This is why I just didn't even bother blogging in March at all.  Too sad, too depressing. 

Tomorrow begins a new month, a new chance at some happiness.  No where to go but up...

Kalends

March is the toughest month, has been for 12 years now and last year's events made it all that much tougher. 

Julia woke me up this morning, about two minutes before my alarm was set to go off.  I was dreaming of my dad.  How I wish I had those two extra minutes.  That is the first time I feel like I've dreamed in ages.  I know I dream, but apparently I haven't had much worth remembering lately.  This dream was memorable and, I believe, quite possibly significant.

But I don't have time for that now.  Must get to the convention center in Henderson and help pull the quilt show together.  My main job is making sure the troops have food for the day.  I'm actually not too nervous about this, I figure I've done the best I can and am as prepared as possible.  Whatever happens...happens.

Does this point to my emotional wellness or simply more delusional thoughts?  Time will tell.



  

Catch 22 - Double Edged Sword - Mixed Blessings

Currently this is what my life consists of:

Can you believe it?  WhiteOut?  I was so thankful to find an old...and I mean OLD....bottle of the stuff in with my craft paints.  Hard enough to read my writing on a plain piece of paper, on WhiteOut?...what a mess!

Above is just a sample of my trying to organize my volunteers for the quilt show that is just around the corner.  I think (I hope and pray) that I finally got all of my volunteers in place, no more changes to be made.  One thing I do enjoy is the interaction I have had with all of these wonderful women.  Great stories, lots of good advice..  I've spent way too much time on the phone chatting...social butterfly that I am.  I know I will miss this interaction once the show is over, but I think I've made a few friends in the process. 

Call me crazy, but I'm rethinking chairing next year's quilt show.  I have a lot of ideas of how to better organize things, possibly make the show into a larger happening.  Considering we're the only quilt show in Vegas, it should be a big deal, a bigger deal than it is.  Lots to think about.  Need to see where my Jules is at with her extracurricular activities before I commit to anything though.

I have two quilts of my own that will be in the quilt show.  Just yesterday I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.  It occurred to me that I might be really off-base thinking that my quilts are good enough to even show.  Yeesh.  I hate it when reality sinks in.  I much prefer to live in my little world, all warm and cozy with my delusions of grandeur.

Anywho, I'm helping Jules finish up the quilt I forced her to make she made for the quilt show and decided it was time to buy myself this little gadget:


Admiring my little bowl?  I made it.  Jealous of my never ending talents?  You should be.  lol.

Seriously, I hope who ever invented this is a millionaire!  An amazing invention that is so helpful!  I do take umbrage with the name, but I'm a freak like that.  Yeah, yeah, artistic license...still Kwik Klip?  Okay, maybe it's kind of catchy, I'll give it that.  Still it bugs me...it's all the years of transcription...I can't help myself.

Maybe it just brings back images of my husband describing how he is going to force me to open a craft store called "Karyn's Kountry Krafts".  He knows all the right buttons to push with me, I tells ya.  Still, puts a smile on my face.  Love that man dearly for always trying to make me laugh.

It's late and I've picked up a chill.  We're expecting snow at 2,500 feet tomorrow.  So is much of California.  Too weird.  Darn global warming.  Must drag my weary bones to bed.  G'nite.


  

Filth, Smut, Grime and Dreck...........................................................34/365

Yes, I said it.  This post is about all that is dirty.  Well, at least what's still dirty coming from my dishwasher.

It started last fall when I noticed that my black nylon utensils came out of the dish washer looking like this:

I usually soak then scrub spatulas, using a little dish soap before putting them into the dishwasher, and yet this is the result.

And then there are the 20 year old Ikea bowls that used to come out crystal clear, even though they have become slightly etched over the years as glass does:

I mean, seriously?  Those are fresh out of the dishwasher!

When I remember to do so, I add vinegar to each load and it seems to help, but often times I forget and it makes me want to wash everything over again by hand.  Even washing by hand doesn't seem to work as well as it used to. 

Could it be the hard water we have here in Nevada?  Possibly.

Could it be that it's time for a new dishwasher?  I hope not.

So of course being the investigative journalist that I am (ha ha) I Googled "why aren't my dishes getting clean?" and came up with this:

Dishes not getting clean? Your dishwasher might not be the one to blame

Turns out soap manufacturers are taking phosphates out of soap including laundry soap, and now they just don't clean as well. 

Granted phosphates apparently aren't good for some environments and cause algae to overrun lakes and such, but still...

I know, I know there are a lot more important things in this world to worry about.  I just really miss my sparkling clean dishes. 

Must stock up on vinegar.  In fact, maybe I'll buy stock in vinegar.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

My View of Things..............................................29/365

Ha ha ha.  Don't get you're knickers in a twist.  (Love that phrase.)  lol.  That heading sounded so serious.  Naw, nothing deep going on that I care to write about today. 

So that's my view, all day today.  Actually, I rarely look at my keyboard except when I have to make a dollar sign or an ampersand.  Never memorized which number keys those belong to.  While transcribing I keep my eyes on the screen, constantly fixing all of the mistakes I make as I type away.  By the end of the day my eyes are usually veiny red, giving me a somewhat wacky appearance.  I always try to wear sunglasses if I know I'm heading out into the world and may have to interact with other human beings face to face. 

Now that my mom had cataract extractions done on both of her eyes (which were quite successful!) I am left wondering if I will make it to 80 without having to deal with cataracts.  Most likely I'll be in my 60's (God willing I live that long) thanks to constantly staring into a monitor for the past 15 years. 

What I can't imagine is how little hearing I will have left by then.  You see, I really don't mind the doctors who burp, chew and make other various obnoxious sounds while they are dictating, but those doctors who can't seem to keep the level of their voice in check...well, I'm pretty sure I've already got plenty of damage to my hearing thanks to the loud coughs directly into the mouthpiece, yelling instructions to a nurse without muting, and worst of all...beepers or cell phones.  What's the deal that those are alway so loud?  

Oh well, such is my life...for now.  Making big changes this year, big changes indeed. 

When I Least Expect It......................................25/365

Yesterday I received an email from the supervisor of the small company I work for part-time asking if I would like to work more hours.  Instead of trying to negotiate anything in email (too easy to miscommunicate) I instead called her and told her of my current situation with the big company and how already I'm burnt out working my head off for them.  Like any other time I've started with a new company there is the intial struggle with getting my speed back up.  My speed is especially affected because inevitably I have to learn a completely new system. 

In my job, time is definitely money and all those pennies add up quickly when I'm working with t a doctor I have heard a few times, and of course all of the "normals" that add up to free lines.  Unfortunately since working for the big company I have yet to be able to make even one normal nor have I heard the same physician more than a once or twice.  I'm literally learning to type for dozens of new doctors.  Keep doing this and I'll make less money than I did last year.

Anywho.  I explained to small company's supervisor that if there was enough work for me to come back full-time, I would be very happy to do so.  To my surprise she said yes and that she had been holding out for a couple of weeks to make sure the work was steady enough so she could offer me full-time work again.  Yippeeeee!

I haven't worked full time for this company since last February as we lost an account and part-timers are always the first to lose hours.  I made less money last year than I have ever made in my entire working life, even back when I was only making 4 bucks an hour working at the Antique store and Fuddruckers.  When I found the job at the psychiatric hospitial last September I thought I had it made.  Well, that only lasted a month or so and I ended up being injured to boot.  Add that to not knowing if we were going to lose the house and a myriad of other traumas in my life, 2010 really turned out to be an awful year.  Looks like 2011 is shaping up much better.

The small company makes my schedule a lot easier overall, my supervisor is always willing to work with any of us when we need to make changes.  Whew!  I was dreading having to tell the big company that I would need to have almost the entire first week in March off just so I can fulfill my duties as Volunteer Chairperson for our quilt show.  I mentioned this to the small company supervisor today and she said "no problem", and I will probably end up working in the evenings to make up what time I might lose each day during the quilt show.

Best of all, after the quilt show, I'm going to focus on what I had originally offered to do for the small company last fall which was to be a scout and find more work for us.  If I find enough accounts, I wouldn't have to actually transcribe at all as I would make money off of each line transcribed by the others.  Once the account is established I would only have to do quarterly followup to make sure that the clients are satisfied.  I love customer service and, best of all, it would get me out into the world doing what I enjoy best, working with people.  So right up my alley.

Ain't life grand?

Could Be The Cold Medicine Speaking.............8/365

I'm feeling better, although had to take a nap this afternoon.  That probably had more to do with being up until 3:00 a.m. than with actually being sick.  Husband has been at the convention all day today.  I've been working for big company and now should be working for little company, but blogging seems more fun. 

I had the phone interview with the company in Summerlin, and I think it went well enough.  I should have learned more about this company as my interviewer asked me that specifically.  It's been a long time since I've interviewed for a job where I didn't already have some sort of "in", so I might have biffed it there by not being better prepared.  I think overall though she was impressed with my off the cuff answers.  I'm pretty quick when I need to be, probably comes from all of my years of sales and having to come up with answers for bosses and customers alike.  Not going to get my hopes up about this job.  Putting eggs in one basket...no counting chickens before they're hatched...that's the old saying.  Sure would love to have holidays and vacation and paid (even partially) healthcare though, so it's hard not to get my hopes up. 

After finishing work for the big company this evening, I laid down on my bed and caught the very end of Forrest Gump.  I never get tired of that film.  As usual, I cried when Jenny died.  Switched over to "Peggy Sue Got Married and cried some more. 

Thinking about my dad for some reason.  Wishing I could go back in time and make him understand how much I loved him.  Lately I've been thinking about how many times he came home from work and I'd be out playing out in the yard.  Did I even say "hi" to him?  Why didn't I run up to him every day, hug him and tell him what a wonderful dad he was? I think I did a better job as an adult, especially the last year of his life, but I'm wondering if it ever is entirely possible to let someone know how much they really mean to you?  More importantly, why does it seem so impossible to not take for granted the people who truly love and cherish me?  Need to work on that in the new year.  Life is just too dang short not to.

Horse sculpture made from driftwood by Heather Jansch http://www.heatherjansch.com/

I was out in "horse country" today. That's what I like to call that area over by the Enterprise Library on Vegas Blvd. I saw some beauties today while on my 25 mph cruise to the library to meet up with my quilt circle. I think horses are so amazingly majestic, calm, thoughtful and serene; I'm always up for catching a glimpse of one of them.

Aside from the story from when I was a kid visiting my friend Susie on her farm where I slid off of a horse and then immediately was butted by a goat (and no, I never got right back on that horse and I never forgave the goat), I have one other funny horse story involving my then 18-month-old daughter.

Since the day she was born I spoke to her constantly, thus she was able to communicate pretty plainly very early on.  I loved most when we were in the car; Jules in her car seat in the rear passenger side so I could keep an eye on her.  Very often she would point out "doggies", "pretty trees", "flowers", etc., which I adored because she spoke so clearly and seemed aware of the world outside her window. 

One day while we were touring the "horse country" in Whittier, I noticed up ahead that there was a horse walking on the right side of the road.  My daughter was distracted by something on my side of the car, so when we came up next to the horse that had stopped at the stop sign she became a little startled and said:  "Mommy!  BIG doggie!" 

Still puts a smile on my face, 15 years later.

Some Facts About Bringing A Little Joy Into My Life

Fact: Out every 10 people you encounter, at least 1 of them will not be a flaming dirtball.

More Fact: If you open your heart to those who are not flaming dirtballs you are almost certainly guaranteed to find some real joy in life.

Naw. Nothing factual about that data, I just made that up.

But after today I think I can quantify those statements as being somewhat true.

Besides, I had to have some opening for having encountered one of the nicest people I have met in a long time. We actually met a few months ago when she dropped her granddaughter at my house for my daughter's 16th birthday party. Oops, have to go back a little further. We actually spent a good hour on the phone chatting about 3 hours prior to the party. She was funny, thoughtful, a great talker and an even better listener. I opened up to her the way I find a lot of people open up to me. She's just nifty.

She's one of those people...the level to which I strive.

The other day she unexpectedly showed up in my kitchen after dropping my daughter off after school. I didn't even know she was in the house until my daughter came into my room to tell me they had come in.

I was mortified. Not only was there a huge pile of laundry on the floor, but then I had done quite a good job at blowing up my kitchen trying to prepare a decent lunch and dinner. That's where I found her, checking out what I had cooking on the stove which she described as: "Delicious smelling." Ha! Lean ground beef with onions, green peppers and GreatValue taco seasoning...delicious!

When I tried to explain the mess away. She responded with "That's how I do my laundry!"

When I persisted at being embarrassed, she said "I didn't come to see your house, I came to see YOU!"

Seriously. I couldn't write it any better if I were attempting that hit screenplay that has eluded me all these years, the one about uber-nice people (of course that would never sell, who wants to see a movie about nice people?) Nor could I write it to be so believable. I can actually feel this woman's kindness. Nothing even remotely underhanded or smarmy about her character.

Tonight, when I dropped off my daughter for a sleep over at her house, I came inside and found it to be neat and tidy, but certainly not perfect. Overall, her home was very warm and inviting, just like my new friend. We chatted, again, about everything under the sun. All the while her kindness continued.

I guess after a certain point in life, age just doesn't matter when it comes to connecting with others. This woman is probably old enough to be my mother (well, if she had a kid at 16 or 17), but it was so easy to forget our age difference. She never talked down to me nor did she attempt to act "cool" in hopes of being like one of our kids.

She's just one of those people. The kind I'm thankful for having met, for accepting me and apparently liking me for who I am.

We're going to go to Costco together one day soon with the girls, hit up every snack lady we can find, and buy one of those apple pies you can only get there (for her, not me.)

By the way, my new friend's name is Joy. How very appropriate. :o)

 

A Time to Talk by Robert Frost


When a friend calls to me from the road

And slows his horse to a meaning walk,

I don't stand still and look around

On all the hills I haven't hoed,

And shout from where I am, What is it?

No, not as there is a time to talk.

I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,

Blade-end up and five feet tall,

And plod: I go up to the stone wall

For a friendly visit.

(Not sure why I posted this.  Just an old favorite.  I love Frost's use of the phrase "mellow ground", sounds so inviting.)

Blog number 15 or 16. Let's hope I can make this one go...

I've started so many blogs; thought of many witty (and not so witty) headliners, made countless banners using images stolen from the internet...all that work for nothing.  Some blogs were started in hopes of capturing my witty verbage, others written out of dispair and sadness.  Thankfully, none of them went on too long.  Nothing worse than re-reading one's own tumultulous angst. 

So this blog is to capture life and how it tickles me into fits of laughter, to express as best I can how completely in awe I am of the world around me sometimes, and, best of all, to show my gratitude for the very blessed life that has been bestowed upon me.

And so it begins...